The following is a transcript of the fanfiction episode Finn & Fionna for possible submission to Frederator. It is a work-in-progress and may change with opinion or new ideas of my own.


NOTE: Xiao Xiao Pack Sound Effects are heard.

(Opening theme are played)

William Harangue (Voiced By John DiMaggio): This is the story of a boy, a girl, a post-apocolyptic world and how they found each other through sheer determination. We start our story here, in the Land of Aaa, formerly Australia. Here are our female lead and her adoptive sister, a cat with stretchy powers. They are fighting a wicked Ice Queen to save a Prince Bubba Gumball.

(Cut to the Ice Kingdom in Aaa, then to Fionna the Human's front head)

Fionna the Human: Last chance, Ice Queen! Release Prince Bubba Gumball or I will be forced to use force more brute than I'm using right now!

Ice Queen: Young fool! By now, you must realize that Prince Bubba Gumball is mine! HAHAHA!

Cake the Cat: You may be strong, but prepare for A SUCKER PUNCH IN THE STOMACH! HIYAH!

(Ice Queen recoils)

Ice Queen: You punch good, but you'll never take UNMARKETABILITY!

(Suspense 1 Sound Effect are heard, Fionna the Human and Cake the Cat stare at her in awkward silence)

Fionna the Human: What are you saying?

Ice Queen: Nothing. I just always wanted to say that.

(Prince Bubba Gumball cheering)

Prince Bubba Gumball: Rick'em, rack'em, rock'em, rake! Stick that sword into that queen!

Ice Queen: That doesn't even rhyme!

(Prince Bubba Gumball mood changes)

Prince Bubba Gumball: Ice Queen, Ice Queen, she's my girl. If she can't do it, GREAT!

Fionna the Human: No more games, Ice Queen! PREPARE TO HAVE THE TAR BEATEN OUT OF YOU!

(Fionna the Human mercilessly beats down Ice Queen, then stabs and kills her, and grimaced)

Fionna the Human: That's one less annoyance in my life.

Cake the Cat: WAY TO GO, GIRL!

Prince Bubba Gumball: YES! NOW I CAN GET MY LIFE BACK! Fionna the Human, you have done well, today! When we get back to the kingdom, I must tell you something important.

(Fionna the Human thinking)

Fionna the Human: Maybe it's another invitation to some ball!

William Harangue: Meanwhile, in the Land of Ooo, formerly North America, Finn the Human and Jake the Dog are in the Ice Kingdom of their land. But as you or may not know, unlike Prince Gumball, who's 18, Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum was 13, perfect for Finn the Human. No, Ice King invited Finn the Human and Jake the Dog over for game night. The game: Monopoly. But something unexpected is happening.

Finn the Human: Ice King! This is stupid!

(Ice King whining)

Ice King: But I want to be the car! You ALWAYS GET TO BE THE CAR!

Jake the Dog: What's wrong with the boot?

Ice King: How do I know if it doesn't have a bad smell?

Finn the Human: UGH! That's it! This is totally!

(Finn the Human and Jake the Dog leave)

Ice King: No wait! COME BACK! PLEASE! NOOOO!!!!

(Finn the Human and Jake the Dog disappear on the horizon. Ice King sighs)

Ice King: Gunter the Penguin?

(Gunter the Penguin are off-screen)

Gunter the Penguin: Wack? (Yes?)

Ice King: Get me a cold one, will ya?

Gunter the Penguin: WACK WACK! (No way!)

Ice King: (to himself) I guess dad was right. Never work with penguins.

(Finn the Human and Jake the Dog arrive back at the Adventure Time Tree Fort. Finn the Human plops down on the couch. Beemo the Computer is on the coffee table)

Finn the Human: What a day! I'm pooped after all we went through today.

Jake the Dog: I hear that, Finn the Human. Let's get some sleep for tomorrow.

(The phone rings. Finn the Human looks over at the phone)

Finn the Human: I wonder who that could be?

Jake the Dog: Maybe it's Ice King trying to apologize.

Finn the Human: Or Marceline Abadeer. But hey, you never know until you answer the phone.

Jake the Dog: Or look-

Finn the Human: We don't have caller ID. Wait, THAT MAKES US SUCEPTIBLE TO PRANK CALLS!

Jake the Dog: Just answer the phone.

(Finn the Human answers the phone)

Finn the Human: This is the Tree Fort, Finn the Human speaking.

Unknown Voice: (on telephone) Hello, is your refrigerator running?

Finn the Human: (annoyed) I don't have a refrigerator! I'm a righteous adventurer who lives in a tree outside of the Candy Kingdom, for sake! Why would I need a refrigerator when I could just get free candy?

Unknown Voice: Then you better go AND catch it.

(Hangs up)

Finn the Human: What?! What's that supposed to mean? Oh, I see! That was a prank call!

(The phone rings 2 left)

Finn the Human: Now who's it?

(Finn the Human answers the phone)

Finn the Human: Yes?

Unknown Voice: Hello, do you have Prince Albert in a can?

Finn the Human: Who's Prince Albert? And I don't have a can!

Unknown Voice: Well you'd better let him out!

(Hangs up)

Finn the Human: Who keeps prank calling us?!?

(Phone rings 3 left)


(Finn the Human answers the phone)


(Screen splits to reveal Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum)

Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum: Finn the Human?

Finn the Human: Oh god! I'm so sorry, Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum! Someone has been prank calling me!

Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum: I understand. In fact we've had numerous reports of people getting prank called.

Finn the Human: It's an epidemic!

Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum: Don't worry, Finn the Human. Authorities are searching all over Ooo right now. Anyway, I need you to come to the Candy Kingdom. There is an important matter I need to discuss with you.

Finn the Human: Alright, I'll be right over shortly.

(Finn the Human hangs up the phone)

Jake the Dog: Who was it, Finn the Human?

Finn the Human: It was Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum. She needs to see me right away.

Jake the Dog: Hehe. I can only guess why.

William Harangue: Back in Land of Aaa, Fionna the Human, Cake the Cat and Prince Bubba Gumball have arrived back at the Gumball Kingdom. That all too big revelation is looming, my friends.

(Fionna the Human, Cake the Cat and Prince Bubba Gumball walk in to the castle)

Prince Bubba Gumball: Wait outside, Cake. This does not concern you.

Cake the Cat: Just promise me you're not Ice Queen in disguise!

Prince Bubba Gumball: Scouts honor!

(Cake the Cat walks outside and runs off with Lord Monochromicorn)

Prince Bubba Gumball: Alright, Fionna the Human. What I am about to tell you is something I've been keeping from you for years. In fact, it's an elaborate cover-up.

Fionna the Human: Does this have to do with all those times you shouted- (imitates Prince Bubba Gumball) HEY, YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Prince Bubba Gumball: Exactly. Now, you know how you're the last human in Aaa, right?

Fionna the Human: Yes.

Prince Bubba Gumball: Well, maybe in Aaa, but not on Earth. You see, Fionna the Human, you... you... you...

Fionna the Human: (Nervously) I what?!?

Prince Bubba Gumball: You... you... yooooouuuuuu... have a brother. A TWIN BROTHER!

(Fionna the Human's face has been face flushed red)

Fionna the Human: Are you me?

Prince Bubba Gumball: No, I'm not you.

Peppermint Butler: (off-screen) Do you two kiss your mothers with those mouths?!

Prince Bubba Gumball: (annoyed) Peppermint Butler, get a hobby.

Peppermint Butler: (retorting) I DO have a hobby!

(Peppermint Butler pulls out an issue of Model Railroader, then Prince Bubba Gumball slow and fast turns around)

Prince Bubba Gumball: (annoyed) GET OUTTA HERE!!!

(Peppermint Butler runs out cries)

Prince Bubba Gumball: Okay, maybe that was a little bit harsh. Back to the subject of your brother.

(Fade white transitions to the Candy Kingdom in Ooo. Finn the Human sighs)

Finn the Human: Well, here goes nothing.

(Finn the Human enters the Candy Kingdom)

Cinnamon Bun the Candy Person: Hey, Finn! Princess is looking for you!

Finn the Human: Yes, I know.

Cinnamon Bun the Candy Person: Watch this!

(Cinnamon Bun the Candy Person does a backflip and lands flat on his face)

Cinnamon Bun the Candy Person: OH GOD, MY CROTCH!

(Finn the Human laughs and continues on his way:soon he reaches the castle)

Finn the Human: This is the place.

(Finn the Human walks in as Lollipop Girl heads out of the castle)

Finn the Human: Now where's Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum?

Peppermint Butler: Ah! Master Finn the Human! Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum is waiting for you! She's upstairs.

(Finn the Human walks upstairs to Princess Bubblegum's Room. Once there, Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum runs to Finn the Human and hugs him)

Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum: I'm so glad you could come! There is something VERY IMPORTANT I must tell that I have kept from you for nearly 8 years. You know you're the last Human in Ooo, right?

Finn the Human: Yes.

Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum: Well, you're not the last human on Earth.

Finn the Human: (face flushes red) I-I'm not?

Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum: No, Finn the Human. There does exist another human. Close to you.

Finn the Human: What do you mean? Are we-

(Cuts to Fionna the Human)

Fionna the Human: Twins?!?

Prince Bubba Gumball: Yes. I didn't tell you for your own safety. I didn't think you were able to take care of yourself should you go on a quest to find him. But you killing Ice Queen changed my opinion. You Can take care of yourself.

(Cuts to Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum)

Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum: So you see, Finn the Human, me and several other people have been part of an elaborate cover-up to keep your sister a secret for your own good. But now I thought would be the right time to tell you the truth.

Finn the Human: Where does she live?

(Cuts to Prince Bubba Gumball)

Prince Bubba Gumball: He lives on the other side of the Pacific Ocean in the Land of Ooo. The best way to get there is by ship.

Fionna the Human: Not an option. I'm too scared of the Ocean.

(Cuts to Finn the Human)

Finn the Human: Couldn't I just take a plane?

Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum: Just wait for her to come to you. She'll get here one way or another. But please don't leave Ooo. Ooo needs you, we need you, I need you the most!

Finn the Human: I know. You made that very clear after you become 13 again.

Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum: (face flushes red) Yeah.

(Cuts to Fionna the Human)

Fionna the Human: I must leave at once! That is, if it's okay with you, Prince Bubba Gumball?

Prince Bubba Gumball: I don't mind. Besides, with Ice Queen gone, our defense budget is now going toward building roads between the Gumball Kingdom and our allies. So it's like your presence here longer needed. OH GOSH! I SAID IT!

Fionna the Human: No, I saw it coming. I am no longer needed for defense purposes. Besides, this brother sounds more important to me right now.

(Prince Bubba Gumball sighs)

Prince Bubba Gumball: I didn't mean it that way. You're still more than welcome here for other purposes.

(Cuts to Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum)

Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum: If you leave, Finn the Human, then who will defend us? I heard tell that The Lich has returned and is planning to destroy everyone! Stay with me, Finn the Human. Stay and protect me from evil's wrath!

Finn the Human: But if I have a sister, that should be my other priority other than your protection. I must meet her!

(Cuts to Fionna the Human)

Fionna the Human: I must meet him! I must go to the Land of Ooo! Wait, where exactly is Ooo?

Prince Bubba Gumball: I thought you'd never ask. Come take a look at the World Map.

(Prince Bubba Gumball presses a switch, and a holographic map pops up)

Fionna the Human: Why is part of the map missing?

Prince Bubba Gumball: That's where the Korean Peninsula used to be. It was destabilized by constant ICBM bombardment towards the end of World War III. Now, this is Aaa, formerly known as Australia. Ooo is here, formerly known as North America.

Fionna the Human: What about this?

(Fionna the Human points to what was once Europe)

Prince Bubba Gumball: Oh, that's Sonnah. I wouldn't recommend going there. They say there is a mad scientist there with an army of robots. Only two people keep his attempted invasions on the the Dark Kingdom in check.

Fionna the Human: Are they human, too?

Prince Bubba Gumball: Actually yes. Yes they are.

Fionna the Human: Like I said, going by ship's NOT an option.

Prince Bubba Gumball: There is always the Flying Taxi.

Fionna the Human: I'm all about flying, so that's my best option.

Prince Bubba Gumball: Aren't you bring Cake the Cat with you?

Fionna the Human: Of course I am! Have you ever seen me use "Stretchy-Powers?"

Prince Bubba Gumball: Touche.

(Cut to Finn the Human, and sighs)

Finn the Human: I promise you I will return, Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum?, in one form or another. Maybe not even with this daft face on. But I will return.

(Cut to Fionna the Human)

Fionna the Human: Well, I guess-

(Cut to Finn the Human)

Finn the Human: This is-

(Finn the Human and Fionna the Human split-screen)

Finn the Human and Fionna the Human: Goodbye.

("Finn & Fionna" starts)

Prince Bubba Gumball: (Fighting back tears) Goodbye, Finn the Human. I hope you find your sister.

(Finn the Human has been emotional himself. He runs to Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum and they hug, then kiss. Cut to Fionna the Human and Prince Bubba Gumball)

Prince Bubba Gumball: Before you leave, Fionna the Human, there is one last thing I should tell you.

Fionna the Human: (flushing red) Yes?

Prince Bubba Gumball: (makes the Vulcan symbol) Live long... and prosper.

(Fionna the Human nods at him and walks out the room. Cut to Finn the Human)

Finn the Human: Farewell. For now.

(Finn the Human walks out of the room)

Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum: (under her breath) I love you, Finn the Human.

(Cut to a split-screen. Finn the Human and Jake the Dog are walking to the right on the top screen, while Fionna the Human and Cake the Cat are walking to the left on the bottom screen)

William Harangue: There. That was it. The big reveal. Bet you didn't see that coming! Anyway, Finn the Human and Fionna the Human are now heading toward their destiny, meeting face-to-face. Collect your thoughts while you watch some commercials.


Narrator: Now to continue the story. Finn and Jake searched all of Ooo. Come hell or high water, he would find Fionna. The same went for her.

Finn the Human: Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum said to wait for her to come.

Jake the Dog: Maybe we should check the port.

Finn the Human: No way, man. If my sister is like me, she probably has a paralyzing fear of the ocean. Maybe a Flying Taxi?

Jake the Dog: What's a Flying Taxi?!

Finn the Human: No time. We need to move!

(Cut to The Lich's lair)

William Harangue: Now for the villain of our story. The Lich was already angry at Finn for killing him & forcing him to inhabit that snail that appears in every episode. Now he has created a new body. With the body came the voice of Jeremy Irons. I'm not joking.

The Lich (Voiced By Jeremy Irons): It's time, commander.

Skeleton Commander: For what?

The Lich: TO ATTACK THE CANDY KINGDOM! I have waited a whole season of this show to come out of the shadows & exact my revenge on that little Finn!

Skeleton Commander: Sir, take a chill pill.

The Lich: Perhaps I have been over-confident. Besides, their army is finely tuned! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN WHAT THEY DID TO ONE OF MY PREVIOUS BODIES!

(The Lich and all of his minions sing "Be Prepared": which will get it's own page soon)

The Lich: Damned! I think I messed up the last note! Can we start over?

William Harangue: No, The Lich. We must keep the story going. In the Land of Aaa, Fionna the Human and Cake the Cat are about to hail a Flying Taxi.

Fionna the Human: Here comes a Taxi.

(The taxi pulls up. The driver rolls down the car window)

Taxi Driver (Voiced By Nathan Lane): Hey, you're Fionna the Human! I heard you killed the Ice Queen! You don't know how happy I am! Hop in! I'll give you a ride free of charge!

Fionna the Human: (gesturing) Not necassary. I'll pay like a law-abiding citizen.

Taxi Driver: Can't argue with that. Where to?

Fionna the Human: The Land of Ooo.

Taxi Driver: WHOA! You wanna go there?!

Fionna the Human: I'm going there to find my brother.

Taxi Driver: Now I understand. But please note I only take exact change.

Fionna the Human: Cake the Cat, do you have exact change?

Cake the Cat: Nope. All I have are bills.

Taxi Driver: Eh, close enough. Hop in!

(Fionna the Human and Cake the Cat get in the cab, the cab takes off)

William Harangue: Back in Ooo, Finn the Human and Jake the Dog continue there quest. Along the way, they help people who are in danger, slay ogres (yes I know they look like Elmo and Oscar from "Sesame Street") and find a suitable cave for Party Pat and his posse of bears. Meanwhile, at the Candy Kingdom, news of The Lich's advance comes in.

(Peppermint Butler walks into Princess Bubblegum's room: Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum are still clearly sad about Finn the Human's departure)

Peppermint Butler: Princess?

(Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum sniffles)

Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum: Yes?

Peppermint Butler: The Lich has begun his advance. He is intent on destroying you.

Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum: That butt! DEPLOY THE ARMY!

Peppermint Butler: Right away.

(Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum looks out the window)

Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum: I hope you're Okay, Finn the Human.

(The army mobilizes. There is an impressive show of power with M-16's, tanks, humvees & Javelin Rocket Launchers. As they head out, they sing "Do You Hear The People Sing?" As they pass the graveyard, Starchy is digging new graves)

Starchy the Candy Person: Starchy the Candy Person's planning for the post-battle moratorium.

(Cut to Finn the Human and Jake the Dog, who arrive in the Ice Kingdom)

Finn the Human: Know what's this time, Jake the Human?

Jake the Dog: No.

Finn the Human: It's Interrogation Time!

(Finn the Human knocks on the door, Ice King opens it)

Ice King: Oh! Uh, hey guys. Look, I want to apologize about last night. I just really love the car!

Finn the Human: We have questions regarding a cover-up we want to talk to you about.


(Finn the Human, Jake the Dog and Ice King sit at the table)

Finn the Human: So, you know which cover-up we're talking about, right?

Ice King: The one about your sister.

Finn the Human: Exactly! Now come clean & tell me the truth.

Ice King: Okay. You remember when I captured you guys & I read you that "fanfiction" about you guys called "Adventure Time with Fionna and Cake"?

Finn the Human: Was the character Fionna based on my sister?

Ice King: No, she is your sister. Your twin sister.

Jake the Dog: (jokingly) Houston, we have a name.

Finn the Human: Wait, then you breached the cover-up!

Ice King: No I didn't! But I can tell you this: those books were magical books. Everything I read affected what happened. So you could say that I possessed them. Until that Marshall Lee Abadeer destroyed them & threatened death to me!

(With a puff of smoke, Marshall Lee Abadeer appears out of nowhere)

Marshall Lee Abadeer: You rang?

Ice King: OH GOSH!

Finn the Human: Who are you?!?

Marshall Lee Abadeer: Name - Marshall Lee Abadeer. You must be Finn the Human.

Finn the Human: How do you know my name?

Marshall Lee Abadeer: Marceline Abadeer told me all about you. She's my sister, by the way.

Finn the Human: I'm looking for my own sister right now.

Marshall Lee Abadeer: You mean Fionna the Human? I didn't know she had a brother.

Finn the Human: Apparently yes.

Marshall Lee Abadeer: She's a great girl. Lot's of spirit. Lot's of tenacity. She rarely gives up.

Finn the Human: That's sounds like me.

Marshall Lee Abadeer: Well, looks like I made Ice King faint. Shame, too, 'cause I heard Fionna the Human killed Ice Queen.

Finn the Human: I think I met Ice Queen in the Crystal Dimension. My sister must one hell of a girl.

Marshall Lee Abadeer: She is the best pilot in the Land of Aaa. And a cunning warrioress. Her skills with a sword certainly are notable.

Finn the Human: Okay, now I MUST find her!

Marshall Lee Abadeer: That's the spirit! I believe she is on her way right now.

Finn the Human: Thank you, Marshall Lee Abadeer, for telling me about my sister. Now I know what to expect from her.

Marshall Lee Abadeer: Anytime, Finn the Human. Anytime.

Finn the Human: One more thing, your voice sounds like some that prank called me twice in a row.

Marshall Lee Abadeer: (sweats) Uh... uh... it was me. I didn't know who I was calling. I was just copying numbers from the 3011 Yellowbook. I'm so sorry, Finn the Human.

Finn the Human: It's Okay, I guess. Like you said, you were reading a Yellowbook. I don't read those.

(Cut to the Flying Taxi, which is stuck in a traffic jam. All of the cars are clouds)

Taxi Driver: (annoyed) UGH! Stupid traffic jam!

(The driver sticks his head out the car window)

Taxi Driver: HEY, GET OFF THE ROAD! (Car honks) LET MOVE IT! HEY! GET OFF THE ROAD! (Car honks 2 left. The traffic finally clears)

Taxi Driver: Hang on, back there! I gotta make up for lost time! BURN RUBBER!

(The taxi takes off at high speed. Fionna the Human and Cake the Cat are jolted backwards. The taxi makes a sharp turn, as Fionna the Human hits the car window. The taxi swerves into oncoming traffic. The driver laughs like a lunatic, as Fionna the Human and Cake the Cat scream. Cut to the Land of Ooo. The taxi descends)

Taxi Driver: Land of Ooo, Final Stop! Hello? Are you still alive back there?

(Cake the Cat are dogpiled on Fionna the Human's front head)

Fionna the Human: (mumbling) Cake the Cat, can you please get off my front head? Your claws are out.

Cake the Cat: Oops! Sorry!

(Cake the Cat pull off of Fionna the Human's front head. Fionna the Human opens the door and gasps.)


Taxi Driver: Gee, I'm very sorry. I forgot I'm not on a schedule. This ride is on me.

Fionna the Human: Goodbye, you Duke of Hazard!

(The taxi leaves. Fionna the Human the Human gets up)

Fionna the Human: Now, to find my brother.

(Fionna the Human and Cake the Cat examine their surroundings)

Fionna the Human: Cake the Cat, this place feels alot like Aaa.

Cake the Cat: The only difference is that army there.

(Cut to The Lich leading his army)

Fionna the Human: Hmph! I could take those guys! C'mon, Cake the Cat!

(Fionna the Human starts running, but Cake the Cat blocks her with her ear)

Cake the Cat: No, Fionna the Human! It's too dangerous! It's not even worth the risk! Well have to let them pass, then search for your brother.

Fionna the Human: Fine, but those guys could be on their way to destroy something!

(Fionna the Human starts pacing. All of a sudden, she is thrown through the air by a land mine left over from World War III)


Cake the Cat: (yelling) HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?!?

William Harangue: Hold it right there! This would be a good place to break for a commercial! God, do I love cliffhangers!

(Commercials are shown)

Narrator: Now to continue the story. We're getting close, people! To that moment! Anyway, Fionna the Human are hurling through the air. Jake the Dog has returned to the Adventure Time Tree Fort, as Finn the Human said he should search for Fionna the Human alone. She is his sister, after all.

(Fionna the Human lands in a tree and snaps a few branches, which break her fall)

Fionna the Human: Okay, now that that horrific distraction is over, back to the search!

(Nearby, but out of Fionna the Human's view, Finn the Human are walking in the forest. He can't stop thinking about everything Ice King and Marshall Lee Abadeer told him. Suddenly, he gets a wierd feeling he has felt before. Fionna the Human has been the same feeling)

Finn the Human: My god, I sense she's close.

(Cut to Fionna the Human)

Fionna the Human: I can actually feel his presence.

(A humorous sequence starts, as Finn the Human and Fionna the Human go hither and yon to find each other. "Yakkity Sax" plays in the background. Finally...)

William Harangue: Wait for it... wait for it... NOW!

(Finn the Human rounds a corner and comes head to head with Fionna the Human)

William Harangue: HA! YES! THIS IS IT! THIS IS IT! THIS IS IT! Now SSSHH! Let's see what happens!

(Finn the Human and Fionna the Human are at a loss of words. They just stare blankly at each other. At leas one minute goes by)

William Harangue: (annoyed) DO SOMETHING!!!

(Finn the Human and Fionna the Human's eyes close. Their head's dip downward slightly as an white orb appears. Thus begins the Memory Sharing sequence)

William Harangue: Oh boy, here we go. This next sequence will put to rest ALL THEORIES regarding the "Great Mushroom War", but it's actual name is World War III. Now let's zoom into that orb. It's time for Memory Sharing!

(The camera does such. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (soundtrack), "Anakin's Betrayal" plays in the background, as images of nuclear war from various TV shows and movies, plus clips of US and USSR bomb tests are shown. Also shown are the origins of the main characters, Finn the Human and Fionna the Human's birth and separation from their parents, why they are afraid of the ocean, Jake rolling around in radioactive mud, Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum being created by a scientist just before he dies, Ice King emerging from a glacier, Lumpy Space Princess and Lady Rainicorn's arrivial in our dimension and The Lich emerging from a flamestorm in Beijing. Toddler Marceline Abadeer are represented through clips from Season 3's "Memory of a Memory". The final thing seen in the sequence is the Korean Peninsula breaking away from Adventure Time Earth and Baby Finn the Human being found by Joshua the Dog, the latter using stock footage from Season 1's "Memories on Boom Boom Mountain". The camera zooms out as the orb dissipates. Finn the Human and Fionna the Human have shocked expressions on their front heads)

Finn the Human: My god...

Fionna the Human: It's all true. What they said.

William Harangue: It's all coming full circle now, my friends. Finally, Finn the Human has found his real family, in the form of Fionna the Human. Personally, I didn't think Natasha Allegri's creations would become so popular with the fans! And now it comes full circle here-

Finn the Human and Fionna the Human: (in unison) SHUT UP!

(Finn the Human and Fionna the Human stare at each other for a moment, then start laughing)

Finn the Human: Well-said.

(The laughing subsides. "Finn & Fionna" starts playing)

Fionna the Human: (face flushing red) I guess...I'm your twin sister.

Finn the Human: (Also face flushing red) It would seem so.

(Finn the Human and Fionna the Human fall to their knees)

William Harangue: (whispering) Get the tissues ready, people.

Finn the Human: All those years of separation make what I initially thought would be a fruitless search all worth it.

Fionna the Human: And I guess that taxi ride from hell over here was worth it.

Finn the Human: Taxi ride from hell?

Fionna the Human: Long story.

(Tears start coming to Finn the Human's eyes)

Fionna the Human: And yet we don't know each other's names. I'm Fionna the Human.

(Finn the Human emotionally, and sniffles)

Finn the Human: And I'm Finn the Human. Your brother.

(Tears start coming to Fionna the Human's eyes as the scene has gets more emotional)

William Harangue: Here it comes, folks.

(Finn the Human and Fionna the Human lean in)

Finn the Human: I... I... I...

(Finn the Human and Fionna the Human fall in completely, and hug, tears filling their eyes. Narrator sniffles)

Narrator: I can't take it anymore! I'll be back!

(Cut to the studio, where Patrick Stewart himself stands up, runs to the bathroom and starts crying. Cut to Pendleton Ward, Adam Muto, Rebecca Sugar, Jesse Moynihan and Natasha Allegri all look on at the screen, getting emotional themselves, as Finn the Human and Fionna the Human's grip on each other tightens and more and more tears come from their eyes)


Patrick Stewart: Well, if you're at home and you're crying, it's nothing to be ashamed of. We knew this scene was going to be especially emotional. Please call this number & we'll try to calm you down. The lines are now open.

(The number appears on screen. PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THIS WAS ONLY IN THE INITIAL AIRING ON LABOR DAY 2012. Afterwards, it was replaced by a still shot of Finn the Human and Fionna the Human, as the camera zooms out)

(Cuts back to Finn the Human and Fionna the Human. The camera zooms in on them. Not a word is spoken, as the scene fades to commercial break. THE FADE IS ONLY IN THE TV VERSION)

Narrator: Okay, now that the emotional scene is out of the way, we can get on to the climax. The big battle.

(The Lich points his sword at the Candy Army)


(Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (soundtrack), "Anakin's Dark Deeds" starts playing. The two massive armies run towards each other. A bloody battle is soon underway. Cut to Finn the Human and Fionna the Human, who are still hugging)


(Shortly after that outburst, Finn the Human and Fionna the Human hear the battle)

Finn the Human: Oh no! THE LICH!

Fionna the Human: The who?

Finn the Human: The Lich! His forces are battling the Candy Army!

(Finn the Human and Fionna the Human release each other, then grab their swords. They both look at each other's swords)

Finn the Human: Nice sword.

Fionna the Human: Your sword seems nice, too.

Finn the Human: Now let's get to that battle!

Finn the Human and Fionna the Human: BATTLE TIME!

(Finn the Human and Fionna the Human stand up and start running, swords in hand. They soon rush in and start striking down skeleton soldiers)

Candy Soldier: Am I seeing double or what?

(The Lich notices Finn the Human)

The Lich: There you are, Fi-OH MY GOD, WHO'S THAT WITH HIM?!

(Finn the Human and Fionna the Human the Humanstand back-to-back, holding off the skeletons)



(The Lich joins the battle. He starts using both his fire and his sword. In an instant, many, many Candy Soldiers fall. Meanwhile, the Skeleton Soldiers recede and The Lich walks up to Finn the Human and Fionna the Human)

The Lich: Finn The Human! You have gallantly! Worthy of recognition in the Ooo Hall of Fame! And now, it is finished. Surrender...and your lives will be spared.

Finn the Human: No! You threaten my princess with death! YOU MUST DIE!

Fionna the Human: I'm with him!

(The Lich has been confused)

The Lich: Who are you!?

Fionna the Human: I'm Finn the Human's twin sister, Fionna the Human. I stand with him.

The Lich: 2 against 1? NO FAIR!

Finn the Human: But you have powers. We're just a pair of humans with no power.

The Lich: True, true. Fine then! EN GARDE!

(The Skeleton Soldiers and Candy Soldiers all come to where Finn the Human, Fionna the Human and The Lich are standing)

Candy Soldier: I place all my bets on Finn the Human and the new girl!

Skeleton Soldier: Place ya bets! Place ya bets!

Finn the Human: Care to explain, The Lich?

The Lich: I'll be honest. They all have gambling problems.

Fionna the Human: I see.

(A Skeleton Soldier comes out wearing a referee uniform)

Referee: Alright, I want a fair fight. The Lich, no fire. Finn the Human and the new girl who looks like him, no melee.

Finn the Human, Fionna the Human and The Lich: RIGHT!

Referee: Round 1. Alright, ready... FIGHT!!!

(Finn the Human and Fionna the Human charge at The Lich. Soon, a 2-on-1 sword fight is on. Soldiers from both sides continue to gamble. The Lich loses his concentration when one of the Skeleton Soldiers misplaces a chip and has his sword knocked out of his hands)

Referee: Round 2. FIGHT!!!

(Finn the Human and Fionna the Human continually parry all of The Lich's attacks. Round 2 goes to Finn the Human and Fionna the Human when they cut off The Lich's left hand)


Referee: Nothing says you can't dismember. DEATH ROUND! FIGHT!

(The fight has been super intense. So intense, that sparks start flying from the blades. After about 3 minutes, Finn the Human finally impales The Lich. He screams in pain)

Narrator: DAMNED!

The Lich: You have defeated me Finn the Human. But know this: I will return, like I always do.

(The Lich's spirit leaves, as his body drops. All of the Skeleton Soldiers break down. The Candy Soldiers all start cheering as Finn the Human and Fionna the Human look at each other)

Fionna the Human: You did well, Finn the Human. You did well.

Finn the Human: So did you.

(The camera zooms out as the cheering continues. It then fades to the Candy Kingdom. Finn the Human and Fionna the Human walk through the gates. The Candy People stare at Fionna the Human, but the Candy Soldiers tell them she is Finn the Human's twin sister. They start cheering)

Finn the Human: Now this is what I call a heroes welcome!

(Finn the Human and Fionna the Human enter the castle. They head upstairs to Princess Bubblegum's room. Fionna the Human are the first to enter the room. Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum turns around)

Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum: WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU, FINN THE HUMAN?!?

(Finn the Human enters the room)

Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum: Finn the Human?

Finn the Human: Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum, I would like you to meet Fionna the Human, my twin sister!

(Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum and Fionna the Human shake hands)

Fionna the Human: I'm guessing you were part of the cover-up?

(Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum laughs, then turns to Finn the Human. They hug and kiss. The scene fades to the Grand Hall. A medal ceremony is taking place. Young Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum presents Finn the Human and Fionna the Human each with a Medal of Honor. Everyone in attendance cheers. Later, Finn the Human and Fionna the Human walk inside of the Adventure Time Tree Fort)

Finn the Human: This is it. Home.

(Finn the Human shows Fionna the Human around the Adventure Time Tree Fort. Soon they conclude the tour.)

Finnthe Human: So, what did you think?

(Fionna the Human stares into Finn the Human's eyes)

Fionna the Human: It's all wonderful, Finn the Human!

Finn the Human: What now?

Fionna the Human: I have no idea what the future holds for us, but I do know this much: I'm staying here with you forever!

(Finn the Human smiles. Meanwhile, Jake the Dog seems to have found Cake the Cat. They warm up to each other very quickly. It isn't too long before Jake the Dog starts giving Cake the Cat a tour of Ooo. Cake the Cat are introduced to Marceline Abadeer. For some reason, she does not show fear in Marceline's presence)

Narrator: Well, that's the end of our story. NOT! It's just the beginning of The War Chronicles spin-off!

(Finn the Human and Fionna the Human hug 2 left, closing out the special)

Ice King: (Voice over) WAIT! WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

William Harangue: All will be revealed this season, Ice King. Just you wait and see.

(Godzilla (1954 Film) Original Soundtrack, "Ending" End Credits play. Finn the Human and Fionna the Human look to the night sky, realizing their status as a critically endangered species. Meanwhile, fanart from DeviantArt of Finn the Human and Fionna the Human are shown. The credits ends with Finn the Human and Fionna the Human hugging)


(Billy the Warrior walks in)

Billy the Warrior: I'm here! Come out,The Lich! Wait, the battle is over! Ah gosh! Oh well, I'll just eat some candy off this dead soldier.

(Meanwhile at The Lich's Lair. The Lich inhabits a new body)

The Lich (Voiced By Ian McDiarmid): One of these day, Finn the Human, ONE OF THESE DAYS! I will have my revenge!

(The special ends completely)

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